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Saturday, December 27, 2008

Can One Expect Too Much?

I'm just laying here......

Christmas is over and the New Year is fast approaching. I feel like my time is running short to accomplish something major at my age. I'm scared I might fail at life and never accomplish anything big. Did I mention, failure is one of my biggest fears.

I've wondered long and hard about what this New Year may bring. I feel as though, I didn't achieve much of anything this year. What's wrong with me? I can't think of one thing I accomplished, okay maybe one thing....MOVING OUT...but that's it. NO BIGGY!! I use to be so inspired, motivated, and looking forward to figuring out my existence. I use to love a challenge. Now, none of those feelings seem to consume me.

Living here in Japan has definitely been tough and maybe I'm just feeling down today..............

What I envisioned my life to be like at age 25 is far from what it is currently. What happened? It’s like I took a left turn down a bumpy road full of potholes. This isn't to say, it's been a bad year, but just not a successful one. Maybe, I expect too much out of life, but then I wonder can one expect too much.....UGH?! Does that make sense? I feel confused!!

I don't know what I want out of life. I use to know, but not anymore. Is this Japan making me feel this way..... Or wait..... Was I feeling this way before I left for Japan? I can't remember!! Frustrating to say the least!! I guess I’m just ready to set sail along this journey called “LIFE”. I'm ready, ready to embark on the journey to a successful life and do all that I desire. Am I confusing you yet?

Well I gotta bounce. I'm about to go to the Aeon Mall and spend money I don't have. Yippee!! That always makes me feel better. Anyway, I usually like to end my post with a final thought, so before I go here are my last remarks for this post. .........

One thing I realize is this; figuring out your purpose or destination in life is hard, discouraging and complicated!! It can take you down a winding road and eventually you may come to a Dead End. I’m guessing… it’s what you do after you reach that point that counts. Maybe in life, one has to go down some dead ends, turn on hopeless, make a left on dissatisfied, and a right on frustration until one reaches his/her ultimate destination or purpose in life. I also think along the journey it's important to understand it's okay to stop and ask for some direction or guidance.

I guess all in all, I can’t give up in 2009. I need to make more of an effort to carry out my objectives, set bigger goals, stay focused, and expect more from myself. I don't need to let the road to success discourage me and I can’t be so quick to give up during tough times. I must stay determined and motivated. I can't let petty things get in my way and stop me from achieving all that I desire.

So, Here's a Toast to a Successful 2009!!!


  1. I feel your pain girl... I have found what it is that I want to do in life... and no worries if you just turned 25, because I actually figured out what it was that I wanted to do a few months after my 25th bday too...

    I think that you've hit the nail on the button with respect to "What you do afer"... that is what it is all about... at the end of the day, you can be inspired by things, you can be good at things, but it all boils down to the fact that hard work, plus initiative = success...

    So once it comes to you (and it will)... keep at it and work yo ass off!!

    Great post and all the best in 2009.

  2. Aww thanks a bunches for the postive feedback!!

    *LOVES IT*