I'm just laying here......
Christmas is over and the New Year is fast approaching. I feel like my time is running short to accomplish something major at my age. I'm scared I might fail at life and never accomplish anything big. Did I mention, failure is one of my biggest fears.
I've wondered long and hard about what this New Year may bring. I feel as though, I didn't achieve much of anything this year. What's wrong with me? I can't think of one thing I accomplished, okay maybe one thing....MOVING OUT...but that's it. NO BIGGY!! I use to be so inspired, motivated, and looking forward to figuring out my existence. I use to love a challenge. Now, none of those feelings seem to consume me.
Living here in Japan has definitely been tough and maybe I'm just feeling down today..............
What I envisioned my life to be like at age 25 is far from what it is currently. What happened? It’s like I took a left turn down a bumpy road full of potholes. This isn't to say, it's been a bad year, but just not a successful one. Maybe, I expect too much out of life, but then I wonder can one expect too much.....UGH?! Does that make sense? I feel confused!!
I don't know what I want out of life. I use to know, but not anymore. Is this Japan making me feel this way..... Or wait..... Was I feeling this way before I left for Japan? I can't remember!! Frustrating to say the least!! I guess I’m just ready to set sail along this journey called “LIFE”. I'm ready, ready to embark on the journey to a successful life and do all that I desire. Am I confusing you yet?
Well I gotta bounce. I'm about to go to the Aeon Mall and spend money I don't have. Yippee!! That always makes me feel better. Anyway, I usually like to end my post with a final thought, so before I go here are my last remarks for this post. .........
One thing I realize is this; figuring out your purpose or destination in life is hard, discouraging and complicated!! It can take you down a winding road and eventually you may come to a Dead End. I’m guessing… it’s what you do after you reach that point that counts. Maybe in life, one has to go down some dead ends, turn on hopeless, make a left on dissatisfied, and a right on frustration until one reaches his/her ultimate destination or purpose in life. I also think along the journey it's important to understand it's okay to stop and ask for some direction or guidance.
I guess all in all, I can’t give up in 2009. I need to make more of an effort to carry out my objectives, set bigger goals, stay focused, and expect more from myself. I don't need to let the road to success discourage me and I can’t be so quick to give up during tough times. I must stay determined and motivated. I can't let petty things get in my way and stop me from achieving all that I desire.
So, Here's a Toast to a Successful 2009!!!